where to find my happy...

Or, why am I planning to do Ironman Wisconsin in 2011?

I started running about 6 years ago after a realization that while I would never end up at 400+ pounds like a former coworker, my weight had been creeping upwards to nearly 240 pounds. When I started running, I could only make it about halfway around the block my apartment was part of (granted the full route around from front door to front door was 0.8 miles). That was a far cry from my senior year of high school when I managed a sub-six minute mile for the first time. I made the decision to get in shape, lose the weight, and I haven't looked back. I went from a couch potato to a running a sub-two hour half-marathon in one year. A few months later, I went back to school to start what ultimately has become a JD-PhD combination. I had dropped more than 60 pounds. I ran my first marathon a year later, followed a few months later by my second half-marathon and second marathon. In that same year I started competing in duathlons, and have been a multisport athlete for about 4 years now. I attempted my first triathlon early (for Wisconsin) in mid-May of 1997, and quickly discovered that swimming in a pool provides exactly ZERO preparation for open-water swimming, at least mentally. The swimming was going to be a problem, and it was going to take a lot of work to get through.

I came to multisport with no swimming background, no running background, and no cycling background. The closest I ever got to competitive athletics in high school was the JV golf team, and a personal goal of a sub-six mile. Genetics might be on my side, since my dad was a runner and my mom was a swimmer, but nothing was going to come easy. My swimming instruction ended once I got to "Minnow" at the YMCA - I was never going to advance further if I couldn't dive in, and I just couldn't get the hang of it...but I could swim. I'd learned to ride a bike at the age of 5, so that was second check on the plus side. As far as running went, I'd already run 2 marathons, so I knew I could run. But putting the three together was a different story.

I made it through that first triathlon swim, wasn't last out of the water in my wave, but had to breaststroke over half the 400m distance. The bike and run went well enough, and I ended up in the top half. Not exactly where I wanted to be, but not a terrible start either. A little self-reflection brought up an unpleasant instance with open water (falling between a boat and a pier at a young age) but that didn't seem to actually be the hang-up. The problem was elusive, and with school always present, it wasn't going to get resolved quickly.

I attempted another triathlon the following year, and the swim went better, except that the water was only 5 feet deep, so touching bottom was never a problem...but it did provide a few clues. The year after that I finally was done with the vast majority of my coursework, so I could take the Triathlon Training course, which culminated in a modified olympic-distance race as part of the course final. Swimming wasn't an issue at all, since it was in a pool (I was nearly last out of the water due to my slow-but-steady pace), and the bike and run allowed me to be quite competitive.

Meanwhile, I've been training and racing a few duathlons a year, along with various half-marathons, 5 mile, 5k and 10k races. After taking the triathlon class, I realized that I needed to once and for all deal with my open-water swimming issues, as they've started to manifest as near panic. I have doubt that I CAN swim, but something mental is interfering nonetheless.

So to bring this back around, I've decided that 2010 is the year to confront my fear of open water (the ice tea color, the weeds, the algae, the inability to see my hand more than a foot from my face -- all the joys of the Madison, WI chain of lakes). I'm planning on two triathlons this year, scheduled just after I finish a summer open water swim class. First is the Pewaukee sprint, and second, just two weeks later, is the Chisago Lakes 1/2 Iron. I don't expect to "race" either race, I just want to resolve this mental block once and for all.